THE INN OF THE FLYING ARSE
by Benjamin Péret (1922)
I, the undersigned, Benjamin Péret, certify that these lines were taken down from my dictation, the first section before making love, and the second after.
I. BEFORE
The man with the wild bollock came down from the tree he had been living in since his first marriage. In each hand he held a sexual organ, from which emerged millions of little larvae which immediately flew off and settled on some large blue flowers. At the larvae's touch, the flowers reared up as if they were made of rubber.
The man was a double male. He advanced toward a rock where a line of vaginas was becoming visible at eye-level. With his finger, he touched one of them, which made a high pitched sound, the second one made an even higher pitched sound, and the third to the touch proved to be as sensitive as an eyebrow. He pressed his thumb on the fourth one with all his might, and the stone gave way. As the stone gave way, two large white arms, and two legs just as white as the arms, appeared and were instantly covered with roses.
The man disappeared, while, in place of the vigina, a long stem of sulphur ran down to the ground. Not far from there, a great yellow flower which was half opened, came off its root, then wound itself around a treesome kind of magnolia. It stuck itself onto one of the tree's flowers, which then disappeared into its corolla; and a few minutes later, sulphur could be seen dripping from there as well.
From the place where the man disappeared, now came the sound of a propeller turning at full speed, and each second, fragments of bone and flesh emerged from the hole through which the man had entered.
Four flies and two fat spiders started turning silently around the little pile of bone and flesh which itself began to turn as well. Soon a head was formed, and then an arm, a leg, a sex, and the entire body of a newborn baby appeared.
The child brought his hand to his sex which was male, the flies and the spiders disappeared through the same hole as the man. The child, his hand on his sex, began to come. The trees, the animals, the rocks began to curl up until they all began to trace the form of a vagina. The child got up, ran to the tree which he tried to grab, but the tree liquified and poured through his hands, he ran toward the rocks and they flew off.
Once again the child touched his sex with his finger and climaxed. A hedge of male organs came up on either side of him, and the child flew off, followed by two breasts, one white, the other black. He landed some distance away, on the bank of a river; and there he saw emerging from the water the man with the wild bollock, his hands full of excrement which blossomed on contact with the air. A small brain fell with a whistling sound and penetrated the child's skull, ensuring the proper mental development.
The man put the child in his belly, and two Spanish girls threw themselves at his feet, kissing his member with passion. Suddenly, they became round, and took on spots like those of a leopard.
The man stiffened as if he were about to die; the girl who at that moment was licking his member stiffened as well. And the two of them, caught in a propeller-like motion, penetrated an electric cloud and fell at the feet of God.
II. AFTER
The rug merchant stopped in front of the inn and said: Fresh young girls, nice white little boys! Who wants some, Ladies and Gentlemen?
The man with a fishscale navel, who had one hand on his head, woke up from the long nap he had just taken in the company of a negress: the one he had brought back from a country where the plants move around and make love while walking. He took out his revolver and shot at the merchent, but he had forseen the shot and threw himself onto the ground, taking more or less the form of a turtle.
By staring at the electric lights, he started to get drunk. The little stargirl came by, and sold her little perfumed stars to all comers, so she was able to get a meal that evening.
The man with the fishscale navel was again the first to awaken. A dove bearing the olive branch fluttered above his head. He opened the window, the air was pure, the sky was blue, the birds were singing, but all the men were eating in the trees with hens, and the cocks were in the women's beds.
It was the morning of April 2, 1922, and the machines were suffering like women in labor. Only the man who had thrown himself to the ground like a tortoise stretched out his head toward the vulva which he could see a short distance away, but for each forward movement he attempted, the vulva made a corresponding movement further away.
A teal, happening to pass between them, understood their agitation, and consented to stretch itself out in order to link them together. With the tip of its beak pressed to the vulva and one webbed foot on the man's head, the teal turned round and round.
The man with the fishscale navel saw them and burst out laughing, saying:
"You really are gluttons for punishment my poor children."
From Death to the Pigs, published by Atlas Press.
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